My philosophy as a systemic Therapist & Coach 

1. "There'S a good reason for everything"

And it is neither good nor bad, it's simply there and is often hiding. So that many a time we don't understand why we just can't "get rid" of a behavior that we really and with honest intention and willpower would like to change - or why we can't solve a certain problem.

My approach here is to examine what this unwelcome and persistent behavior - or also a psychological symptom - might be good for. Who would have an interest in this behavior or symptom staying the way it is, and why? For which people in your present or past - and also for which part in yourself - is it (still) helpful?

Maybe a problem is a short-sighted attempt to solve something else. Or perhaps it's not a problem through and through, and it just needs a tiny change or simply a new perspective.


2. "Nothing that you do, think or feel is happening without the others"


Since as a human being you are connected and interwoven with other people, constantly and without exception. Even if you're living alone in a cabin in the woods, the others are always there.

In your mind, perhaps in your heart, your memory and also in trying to forget. In your past, your present and in your imagination, even and especially when you don't want them to be.

Be it social, family and everyday relationships. Or your daily experiences, your role and position in what is called the social system. All this has an influence on you, has shaped you and is important to be looked at. Often difficulties, conflicts and also psychological symptoms can be better understood this way.


3. "I have no idea what is right for you"

Since I am not you, and I'm not living your life. I don't know anything about you and I don't actually need to understand you from head to toe. My job is simply to help you understand yourself and figure out what's the issue and where you want to go. 

I do that by asking questions, by "nudging" you or giving impulse,  inviting you to do little exercises and helping you sort things out. I'm quite good at that, because I'm an expert for this. For everything else, the expert is you.

In doing all this, it's important to me to work in an appreciative manner and with a good dose of empathy and humor - even if  occasionally I should have a provocative idea that might even irritate you. There's actually a technical term for this, "perturbation," I didn't make that one up.